up up & away.

as scary as life seems to me right now, as much lack of control i have over everything that happens to me, as much doubt and fear creeps into my mind, as alone and lost as i feel....I AM OKAY. since the beginning of january i have felt this way...but its april now and i am alive i am okay i am still here still fighting and still giving my EVERYTHING to overcome these personal battles im facing, though some important people who were once in my life who i leaned on and confided in and who comforted me are no longer here i have found my own strength and i have found others who strengthen me. im not down yet....nooooo sir, not even close. last year was a pretty good year overall it had its ups and downs of course and then 2012 came around and....its throwing me for a loop....and no breaks. everything it seems like is just going the opposite of how i imagined! my world has been flipped completely upside down. and though im still so unsure of so many things i just walk in faith every day that god is looking out for me, and he is giving me the strength the keep my chin up, and bekki im sure is my guardian angel with my every step of the way...just like she has always been. so even though i say im alone i am not really....im alone with my thoughts and actually facing my challenges but i have a support system a VERY strong one to back me up at all times. I CAN DO HARD THINGS. i can do them alone if i have to. and i have before. we all can. and i know all of this will make me stronger and is only making me A BETTER PERSON! im only going up! positive outcomes only!


"promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. look at the sunny side of everything, and make your optimism come true. think of only the best, work only for the best, forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievement of the future. give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no times to criticize others. live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as your true to the best that is in you!"

scott laxton shared that with me and it has stuck with me ever since. this is how i will live my life from now on.

ENDURE TO THE END.