i want all of you, every day, you and me.

i am a sucker for love. big time. i love to love..

i want that love that drive you crazy

the kind where you cant stop thinking about the other

i want love where you have to stop kissing because your smiling too much

i want love where you dont feel insecure or jealous

i want love that makes you feel pure happiness

that love that makes you feel like a kid again

i want love that i dont have to question

i want someone to love me as much as i love them.

but sometimes people aren't on the same page in their relationship...and thats where the heart ache is...

i just want to love and be loved in return... 

 

 

BE A GENTLEMAN!!!!

 

i want someone to grow old with
someone to love me unconditionally
someone to love me at my worst when i least deserve it
someone who will listen and care about me 24/7
i just want that fairy tale love...

the ugly the good and the best. or something like that?

THE UGLY -  i work on thanksgiving :( my family has a thanksgiving lunch at 2 and i work from 1-6...yeah FML!!!! and i work 10 hours on black friday 2 - midnight


THE GOOD - thanksgiving is this thursday so there is only two days of school! YAY

THE BEST -  Taylor's family has a thanksgiving dinner so i am invited there(: yay at least i get to spend thanksgiving with the other family i love(: how sweet.

he's super handsome and wonderful(:

im not your baby gurlll

im not your home girl, your boo, or even your acquaintance. haha you may be black but doesn't mean you can give a stranger who is a female pet names. that just made me laugh. any who today has consisted of so much gee where do i start? psych. i'm so bored im blogging about nothing cause there is nothing else to do...i can tell you about my day...cause thats exciting...lets see first period i am a teachers aid. he is the baseball coach and a math teacher...so i just graded some math papers...then spent the rest of the time on pinterst.com its like facebook but BETTER! then i had dance and i always love dance were working on our christmas piece to a justin bieber song titled mistletoe im so excited. i LOVE preforming. then i had weight training and i had no desire to work out what so ever today so that was a fail but towards the end of class we played circle ball...some girls just cant handle that game. i am one of the girls who CAN. i have L O N G limbs and i just wrap them around the other team to tackle them. its worked out pretty well so far. then i had lunch so i came to my house with taylor and we made some pizzas then i had seminary and i fell asleep. THEN i came home and made mac and cheese....this girl can EAT. im like a bottomless pit to say the least. in fact im hungry again. then i did some dishes and took a nap...so productive. i need more in my life. i cant sit around like this all day. i refuse. what other topics have been on my mind? CHRISTMAS! the most wonderful time of the year. here is a sneak peak at my christmas list. dont hesitate to buy any of this for me i will certainly not object! 

the iphone4. i need a new phone. this..this little beauty is wonderful i dont care what you say.

this would look so cute in my room...or even just plain black.

i love me some long socks to keep not only my feet but also my calves warm in this cold winter season!

my board is so beaten up....and this one is pretty freaking rad.

a red mazda rx-8 ...hey a girl can dream right?

awkward

lately i've been on edge. everything bugs me and its been terrible. so today while i was blown off for the third day in a row. (ahem) i decided to try and do something positive to get me in a better mood. i took my lovely dog sam for a walk by the lake. it was fine, the weather was nice and the fresh air felt good. until i had an awkward moment you see, sam walked off the trail into the brush to investigate a strange sound or smell and she stepped into a bunch of stickers...poor thing so i was trying to get them out for her and this guy was walking towards us and i guess it shocked sam when i pulled a sticker out and she growled like a beotch at me and jumped on me and the guy freaked out thinking my dog was attacking me so he ran to my rescue which freaked sam out even more cause she thought he was tring to hurt me so she tried to attack him but her paws were covered in stickers which hurt her so she just flopped onto the ground growling instead. me and the stranger stared at sam then at each other then just laughed it off and he helped me get the stickers out of her paws. sam is a very friendly dog usually i dont know what got into her. anyway another awkward moment with a stranger happened just two days ago, i was at target getting a few things and then this guy starts pushing his cart along side me asking me "so what are we going to do for thanksgiving? im dreading your mom to be honest..." and im wondering "how does he know my mom?" then when i start listening again hes saying "you should make those potatoes anyway they are amazing your such a good cook im so lucky so have such an amazing beautiful wife like you" and im thinking "awwhhhh....WAIT! wife!?when the heck did i get married to you?! i dont even know you!" so i stare at him extremely confused. all the while were still walking around the store side by side and i...STILL haven't said anything. then he looks up at me...he looks just about as confused as i do and he sighs and says "you are not my wife" i reply "oh...uhmm, no im uh im not sorry?" then he says "im sorry this is awkward" then i say "yeah awkward"  then we just look at each other much too long and he walks away....hello most awkward moment of my life!? yeah .... well thats pretty much all.

forgiveness

so my last post was about the suck part of my life but with in the last what 2 hours? i have just been thinking of everything i do have and all the amazing people that are in my life. i have been praying SO much today for everything! i have just seen how many wonderful things i have in my life and the good people. lets start off with my young womens leader sister bateman. this woman is my inspiration...she is hands down the most selfless, giving, wonderful, caring, spiritual woman i have ever EVER had the pleasure to know. every time she gives a lesson i cry, she always has the spirit with her and her lessons are always JUST what i need i can always apply and pay attention to what she has to say i could swear her lessons are just for me. she is like a friend to me i know i can open up to her and she wont judge, she is so forgiving and understanding and a genuine person i love her with all my heart. also my parents, wow...i am so lucky and blessed to have the parents i do, they are ALWAYS looking out for me and they think about my problems before their own, they have the best advice and though i dont always listen they are right in the end. my mother....she is just forgiving and i am so thankful for that that i have a mom who no matter what i do no matter what trouble i cause she will just forgive me and if i make that mistake 12 more times she forgives me just as easily she is so loving its like no one can do any wrong in her eyes she just loves everyone and has something good to say about everyone and she is always giving, giving her time, her attention, her money, her food and her everything to everyone else she is selfless. she is such a good example to me. i want to be just like her. my dad...he has experienced so much so he always  tries to relate to me and i am a lot like him, he is so smart he always teaches me new things and he is just as forgiving...today i am just SO thankful for forgiveness, not everyone forgives but the important people in my life do, my family, my good friends, those i love and most importantly my heavenly father. im overwhelmed with how blessed i am right now. all these wonderful people in my life and there are so many more! my brother...my sweet sweet brother who is my best friend, he has seen all my mistakes, he hears them all and he just tells me "dont forget who you are, your a daughter of god and its ok to mess up its ok your not perfect i love you no matter what" he always has something good to say about everyone as well and he always has my back. im so lucky i have a forgiving and understanding family because i am not perfect at all and they understand that i have done things that have really hurt my family and they forgive me because thats just what you do when you love someone as much as you love your family they know the kind of person i am because they raised me and they raised me right if you ask me. i love you family. thank you for all you do and your patience and forgiveness. it means the world to me.

human

lately has been rough...and lately as in since friday. we all make mistakes right? we come down to earth to live and learn and part of living and learning is screwing up and making mistakes right? somebody please even if i dont know you correct me if im wrong. so i made a few mistakes and one big one and after that big one everything i do seems to be a mistake to some people. everything. trying to have fun...nope dont even think about it missy you had fun...nope, mistake. its like i cant get a break and maybe i set myself up for this, for the cold shoulders, criticism, harsh words, hatred, and misery. maybe its all my fault and i deserve it but if i knew this is what i was getting myself into i sure would have dont things differently. im human, sorry i forgot to send a request to keep me immortal while i live on earth my bad, i didn't get the memo in time and i cant change that now. but if being human isnt good enough im screwed. let me ask you this readers....say you made a big ole mistake that hurt a couple people you sure didn't mean to hurt ANYONE you thought you were honestly doing the right thing. really you were convinced you were so you made your decision and BAM it backfires and blows up in your face, the damage is done, there is no taking it back now so ASAP you start apologizing and doing all you can in that moment to try to start making it right, thats the right thing to do right? you should fix things as much as you can as soon as you can right? thats what im going here for but when the people you need to forgive you give you the cold shoulder, won't believe you, or your not allowed to talk to them HOW tell me HOW you are supposed to right any wrong you have done to them? if they won't give you the time of day or the benefit of the doubt what are you supposed to do? im feeling quite lost, and hopeless, and lonely! if nothing i can do is good enough, if nothing i do to try and prove i AM in fact a good person is going to help me out in some way...what am i doing here? i know im not fighting for nothing in this situation...but i sure wish what i was fighting for would say "thanks for your effort, i dont forgive you yet but im sure i will come around eventually" then hey thats all the motivation i need to keep going and to keep fighting. i just need SOME type of positive feedback....thats all...

all you need is...hugs

what an exhausting day! 

might i add i only got 4 hours of sleep last night

then worked for 5 hours. 

its been a long long day....

and on long long days all a girl really wants is a good long hug 

and a kiss on the forehead wouldn't hurt. 

but of course on days like this no one is around to give them

there are just grumpy customers and bad drivers and cold ravioli. 

its 7:34...im going to shower, pile on the sweats, curl up in my bed and sleep. 

good night(: 

oh no he didn't

I am a happy worker.

Really, I enjoy going to work, because then I am

productive and it keeps my mind occupied.

Today...oooohhh today has

not been good.

And to top that off I have

(here comes the TMI part)

PMS

which pretty much sucks.

UGH!

it not only makes you more sensitive to

EVERYTHING

but then lets say you get your feelings hurt by something

stupid like someone told you

cute shirt...but it's on inside out

and you like

"BIH! I WANT IT THAT WAY

HATER!"

then you cant stop thinking about her and how dumb she is

how DARE she tell you how to wear YOUR CLOTHES!

(this is not what happened to me today in case you were wondering)

but its like you go through all these emotional stages

within minutes over the smallest things

and by the time your done 

hating

questioning

crying

plotting revenge

crying

and thinking of what to do next

your worn the crap out!

its exhusting

plus you get cramps.

Boys have it too easy.

They should give birth! or something.

meh! 

That's all, just venting.

slippery shoes never did me good

Today while interning at the Sweet Tooth Fairy

I had quite a hard time.

You see I wore a pair of black flats...that have zero grip

and the floors are...slippery?

yeah...what the heck.

WHO KNEW?!

(not me)

so while I was maneuvering about in the kitchen

carrying HEAVY trays of food...I kinda went ice skating

well thats what it felt like

good thing I'm not the worst ice skater around

no food was dropped, spilled, or squished!

thank goodness I would have seriously cried.

It is Monday so the bakery isn't too busy...

so i got to go home early...

BREAKING NEWS

My friend Kaiti Mauch Papa is having her baby girl JaNae today(:

I have known Kaiti since kindergarten 

and we've been friends since.

It's crazy...it's really REALLY crazy to me...the thought of having a baby now

Kaiti..you are so strong for going through this

your smart, and your going to be a good mom

you'll be so fun haha what a lucky little girl to have a mommy

like you to come down to(:

good luck birthing...and stuff...

I'll be at the hospital for you as soon as I can

your just getting a head start on life.

Well I have to go meet up with some friends now to plan

sadies...oh joy....?

the theme is circus...

IM SCREAMING IN MY HEAD

cause I DO NOT LIKE THAT THEME!

are we all supposed to be clowns?

no. gross.

I honestly dont have a strong desire to go..period.

But whatever...I'll make the best out of this

circus theme...BLEH!

im in a good mood today(:

i got a job this morning working retail at shopko

doesnt seem like anything amazing, cool, or fancy

but hey i have been in desperate need of a job

since i turned 16 and im 17 now...so

HALLELUIAH

i start in 2 weeks(: boo ya!

also last night was a mulit high school dance

that rocked my socks

i actually quite enjoy dancing in a crammed area

filled with strangers who are sweaty to really loud music.

call me crazy.

OH! today on my way to my interview there was a spider in my car

and i COULD NOT KILL IT

because it kept running away and hiding

so once i got home i just left the window down

in hopes that the spider would escort itself out and not invite others in

lets keep our fingers crossed!

i have a hot date tonight.

w/my incredible boyfriend who posted on my blog recently

if you haven't seen.

he's great.

oh gee...now i feel the need to brag...here we go

Taylor Wach

he's kind of a big deal (especially to me)

i have NEVER met a sweeter guy in my entire life

he always opens any and every door possible for me

if i open my own door he will close it and re-open it himself

he NEVER yells at me and i mean NEVER

never ever ever ever never!

but then again we dont ever fight

but i have done things that upset him and he just says

"lets talk" 

when i assume that a normal human would blow off the roof from yelling so loud at me

not Taylor cause clearly he is not your average human being! 

Taylor is patient

understanding

nonjudgemental

SMART

talented

athletic

caring

considerate

m i n e...(:

and a ZILLION other things

writing about him in my blog will never do his greatness justice

Taylor plays football, he starts offense and defense and he's just

so so talented, he's going to play college ball and become famous

he is also really good at making stuff w/wood

he has a wood shop class at school and 

OH BOY

he is good.

insanely talented!

I am so thankful for Taylor...he is a very loved person

especially in my family.

I have never seen my family like a boyfriend of mine so much

my dad goes to all his football games that he can

my mom ADORES him she tells me everyday

how much she likes him and how sweet and what a good guy he is

and my little brother likes him too

they like to wrestle...cute

im so lucky to have him(:

 ^ this picture...to me...as a girl the feeling of

being "small" is great, i mean small like

when you cuddle up to someone and they hold you

in their arms and you just feel like a little kid

thats how i feel with Taylor, all the time

he's just so big and strong he carries me around

like a little kid all the time

and i like it(:

he's real strong...me...not so much.

these flowers were waiting for me on my doorstep

when i cam home from a week of camping

in Wyoming. they are so pretty.

gerber daises are my favorite(:

i sat and admired them while i was supposed to be unloading

the trailer and such...oh well

owlz game

color me mine

he was making me a huge pink mug

that said

"princess kayla"

 Taylor set all of this up and took me on the

BEST PICNIC EVER

up the canyon(:

how cute!

 

 

soakin up the last of the summer sunshine

we gave each other whipped cream mustaches

(:

so cute(:

xoxo

Mckayla, My Princess

Your first thought while reading this post might be, wow, this is different. As a matter of fact, this post is different then all previous posts in many ways. 

First, this is not actually written by Mckayla.

Second, it's not filled with creativity or imaginative content.

Third, everyone already knows what a wonderful person Ms. Mckayla is, But there is a lot that many of you do not know about her, some of this will be brought to your attention today. 

I've been Mckayla's boyfriend altogether for almost a year. She means the world to me, and she knows it. :) She is kind, compassionate, loving, patient, caring, and absolutely beautiful. She's a PRINCESS! 

When I wake up in the morning I usually have a text waiting for me when I turn on my phone. It's a little something like this: "Good morning handsome!" OH MAN! That alone puts a smile on my face. After that i get the follow up text saying, "You better be to school on time today so I can see you." My sole purpose to getting to school on time in the morning is so I can start my day off on a happy note. By seeing my baby girl.

How many guys get that everyday? One. Me. I am so freaking lucky, It blows my mind that there is someone on this earth that makes me as happy and joyful as Mckayla does. By the way, this is just the start. 

Mckayla and I, eat lunch together as often as possible, we meet up after class has ended and we drive to either one of our house to make SAMMITCHES!!!! She'll make me the best sammitch in the whole freaking universe, run out side into her garage, grab a mountain dew, come back inside and have a sammitch and a drink ready for me, before i can even take off my shoes. I don't ask her to, I don't tell her to, and I certainly do not expect her to do these things for me. She does it because she wants to. 

LUCKY ME. I get to escape school erryday to spend quality time with my sweety pie! Oh, and I get to eat a bomb sammitch. Soon we must head back to school and continue our day.

When I am through with football practice I text Mckayla. Her response? "YAY!!! It's Mckayla time!" Guess what!? She is absolutely right. I never know what to expect though, there is always something exciting and wonderful happening when I get to see her again. :) 

It's sad that I can not properly express even a normal day of my life. Mckayla has enriched my life so much it is impossible to comprehend. I only described to you my normal school day though.There is so much that Mckayla does for me. 

She gives me hugs and kisses.

She gives me TONS of notes, all of which make me laugh!

She is patient with me.

She asks about my day, and how I'm doing.

She puts up with football, 24/7. How many women do you know that would sit through a sophomore game on Thursday with her boyfriend, go to the game Friday in the FREEZING cold rain and horrible weather, then would go to the BYU game on Saturday? I know one. One woman. Mckayla Lavee Johnson.

She lets me feel like a gentleman, letting me open doors for her, and escort her around everywhere we go. Not just on dates, all the time. She doesn't know et, but that by itself makes me feel like a gentleman.

She does EVERYTHING!!!

Mckayla, I am so thankful for everything you do for me. :) You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you in my life. You do so many small things that add up to so much, and when i don't think it can get any better, I find out you've done something else to make my life even more amazing. You truly are a princess, and I am so happy you are mine. :)

          It's 7:32, I LOVE YOU!

                                                 Taylor Wach

today.

I am in love.

with this weather.

cloudy, cold, rainy/snowy.

the mountains are dusted with snow

you can see your breath

all you want to do is drink hot chocolate,

cuddle, and watch a great movie.

you get to dress super warm

and snowboarding of course.

im excited. seems like there was no fall

it just went straight to winter!

wonderful.

i also went to my friend clark's hockey game

it was awesome! i even saw a kid

on the other team do a front flip..

it was pretty sweet.

its been such a good day just thought i would like to share(:

also orem game tomorrow.

stoked.

AND

college.

oh boy 

here we go

watch out!

Dixie...here i come

BUT

i have company

DALLAS LYMAN

ha im so excited

plan:

go for a semester just to move out

be on my own

have some fun

and work on my generals

truth is dixie sounds great

except they dont have anything i want

to study

not a thing!

but UVU does

i want to go into culinary arts

and dance.

UVU offers both! and i live

RIGHT BY IT!

perfect? yes.

but Dixie..

sunshine...all the time

school clubs

st. george

vegas

hello..my dream school

but im truly bummed

they dont have culinary or dance!

that totally SUCKS

sooo Dixie for a semester

or so then to UVU

i have dreams!

i have goals!

im going to make something great of myself

and college is the place to start i guess

im so excited!

(:

t e n

10 great things about today

1. I had my internship today and I LOVE IT. So thats always great

2. My sister stopped by while no one else was home,

it was nice to have some quality time with her

PLUS 

she invited me to go to the zoo with her this friday

3. I found a super great outfit to wear tomorrow

4. I'm getting better and better from my head cold

5. My mom went grocery shopping!

6. I don't have any homework

7. I got to surprise Taylor

8. I got to put gas in my car

9. The weather was nice

10. A very nice guy at the gas station told me I am very beautiful

and the crazy part about that is

i was in HUGE sweats, hair up, and no make up.

THANK YOU KIND STRANGER THAT 

WAS VERY SWEET OF YOU AND IT 

MADE MY DAY!!!!!!!!!

malades..french for sick

so maybe some of you know via facebook but

last night i had a photoshoot

my friend val: hair and make up

some guy clark: photographer

they know each other and clark

needed a model and val asked me! wow it was SO fun

the theme was edwardian girls

but i ended up looking like a 

greek goddess

the pictures turned out

AMAZING

cant wait to see all of them

so at the studio it was really hot

in there to everyone..but me

they opened the door that led outside

...outside was colder!

 being in that freezing-ness gave me

A HEAD COLD!

fml.

and it gets better i was there till 11:30 got home around 11:45

talked to my mom till midnight

on a school night

pictures for me were the next day (today)

so when i finally got to my room

i flopped onto my mattress and was O U T

my alarm goes off...i remember the previous nights activities and 

say a quick prayer that my hair is not

some out of control afro knot mess

i turn on the light...

my hair is TAMED!

it looks fine

and still curly!

PHEW

god loves me.

school pictures....the first picture...

the photographer lady was very nice and after she took the

first picture she said...

"well...basically you have snot running down your

face and should go blow your nose and well try again"

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME!

seriously

any other photographer would 

have kept it a secret from me 

so round two...

lazy eyes..

round three!

GOOD ENOUGH!

then i come home the rest of the day cause this head

cold is killing me

i had been having sneezing attacks up the wah-zoo

i have sneezed more today than

i have in my entire life

no flippin joke

my head feels like it is filled with nasty

and going to explode all over

my eyes are squinty and watery 

my nose is stuffed so i breath like i just ran a marathon

and my laugh sounds like

a she man...

and i have a sore throat

and a cough

i got the whole package.

so in my misery i get a great idea

they have medication for this stuff!

DUH!

so i go to the medicine cupboard in my house

and start grabbing ANYTHING

then i remember i should probably know

what i am about to put into my body

this box says

relieves:

-sneezing

-sinus pressure

-runny nose

-watery eyes

-nasal congestion

-sinus headache

THIS IS A GIFT FROM THE GOD!

I HAVE ALL OF THOSE!

so i take one out and try to open it

i for some reason cant open the little box container thingy its in

so i get some scissors

and try to cut it out

STILL not working and im thinking

what the heck is wrong with me!?

so i hulk out and just smash the stupid thing in my hand

and 

POOF

it turns

into crumbs on the floor...

still desperate for relief from my torturous state

i stare at the crumbs on the floor

thinking should i gather them up and swallow them still?

snort them? (no was the immediate answer to that dont worry)

feeling discouraged i clean up the pill crumbs and try ...again

unwillingly

this time it doesnt take as many tries to get the thing open and i 

can take my cold pill

while im waiting for it to kick in a went through a few stages

im SO ready for this to start working

it had been 20 minutes, WHEN will this start working?!

35 minutes...and getting tired

40 minutes and power nap

 

 

45 minutes and its kicking in...sort of

and it eventually worked for a half hour...

and here i am again...

feeling like my head is going to burst

this is not fun

and the only reason im ready in these pictures

is because it was picture day

if i had my way...

sweats on

hair tied

chillin w/no make up on

bleh!!!!!!! someone save me

where is the NyQuil!?

strangers that touch

 

C R E E P S:

today i was sitting on a bench at school

i didnt have a class to be in but i had

to pick up my brother soon so i was

just sitting there waiting for him

when a nice guy came up and started talking to me

...REALLY close to my face

he sat on the bench next to me

and whispered in my ear

"hey, my name is so and so"

i politely scooted over and

introduced myself

we talked about random stuff for a while

but all the while he was very...intimate

he was VERY MUCH SO IN MY FACE

lets just put it that way

and he was touchy...

like creepy touchy

touching my face

touching my leg

touching my arm

it was uncomfortable to say the least

but it gets worse

he starts asking personal questions

and intimate questions about my life

and what i like...very in depth stuff

for a stranger to be asking

then he grabbed my face

looked me in the eyes and said

"your the kind of woman i dream about"

...thanks?

im truly flattered..it was just a little much...

creeper.

i escaped.

thats kind of all for today.

more baking

so my internship has been going great! 

i can handle the cash register for starters ha and i now know where everything is in the kitchen! 

i dont ask as many questions and i can do about anything!

at the beginning of my internship i started organizing cupcakes on trays to be frosted and that was about it, now i decorate the cupcakes, frost cookies, dip strawberries, just about any little thing like that 

and...i can handle the cash register 

haha i NEVER thought i would see that day. 

days like these are GREAT! in the morning i go to a sports medicine class 

then to the sweet tooth fairy then im done for the day!

it awesome and even better there is a football game tonight! i love fridays. i wish every day could be like this. lets see what else is new...hmmmm my cat orange has a big bald spot on his head,

it's freaking hilarious

poor cat he is 10 years old and we have no idea what happened to him...

he's such a mean old cat so i hope he dies soon. 

that sounds harsh

but this cat will KILL you

heaven forbid you walk to close to him and he will attack your legs and rip your pants/legs to shreds.

yeah douche cat. 

ALSO i have a new love. 

SALTED CARAMEL HOT CHOCOLATE 

from starbucks. 

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! everyone should go out and buy some right now

i promise you will not regret it...and while your at it bring me one(: