mckaylala: the story you've all wanted to know, if you didn't know already

here it is...i suppose. the mckayla and scott story.

one day in the winter of 2009 i was shopping w/kennedy wyckoff, we were sophomores, we didn't have cars and needed a ride home from the mall, no one could come get us, so kennedy called her friend scott. i didn't know him AT ALL. so he came to the mall to pick us up. as we were driving home i didn't say anything till i noticed he was playing E-40 so i said "isn't this E-40? i love him" scott replied "yeah, how do you know him" i said "i like rap" he said "cool" and that was about it. till the black light stomp. he was dancing in the middle of the dance circle, i was watching and he came up and said "we should go out sometime" i said "yeah totally" then he just walked away i ran over to my best friend dallas squealing w/joy over what had just happened but didn't think anything would ACTUALLY happen. me and scott had seminary together first period so i knew his face but i never thought anything of him because all i knew about him from my observations in seminary were

1. he is always late.

2. he likes fruit punch and grape gatorade.

3.when he speaks, people listen.

and thats all i knew about him. then me and kennedy were hanging out again, she was dating cameron...scott's friend. so me and kennedy were going to a late movie and she called cameron to see if he wanted to come w/a friend for me...ha. so cameron and scott came. we saw avatar december 23 and ever since that day we were connected at the hip. from sunrise to sunset. i quickly became a part of his family, i knew everyone i was over all the time. i practically lived there. my family loved him as well. everything was great. then it was summer going into my junior year and i was always w/his older friends, not getting to know anyone in my grade and he had graduated, i felt like my sophomore year had come and gone too quick. and there i was junior year, i hardly had any friends, i didn't really know anyone cause i always hung out with the seniors...and they were gone. and i wanted to meet and date other people, so sunday august 8th i broke up with him. it was fine at first, till i started seeing a guy "behind his back" i guess i was playing them both because i was leading them both on, it was wrong of me and it tore scott apart, i would tell scott anything too keep him calm to make things seem...alright, i lied to him, a lot. but even then..the way i see it, if i HAD told him the truth he would have still got mad. either way it was a bad situation. i wasn't his GF but i wasn't quite over him. he must have been so confused, and i can't blame him at all, but his confusion came out in anger...and lots of it. and it was too scary for me. i didn't want it. we would fight, from sunrise to sunset, into early hours of the morning everyday and it became too exhausting physically and mentally so we stopped talking. and it hurt. and as time went on i would slowly get over it one small small step at a time. except for the occasional slip. we both trained at ASAP training...so when we broke up it was like a fight for territory, we couldn't be there at the same time so he would train in the mornings while i was at school and i would go after school. but one day i while i was there, running on a treadmill, he walked in and was talking to dave (the trainer) when i saw him there i jumped off the treadmill and hid behind another machine...i hid because..well i didn't want him to see me, because i thought if he saw me he would talk to me but we never talked...we just screamed and fought w/each other, we never TALKED. it was always yelling and screaming. we were sooo disrespectful to each other. and i didn't want that..not in front of dave not in front of ANYONE. he soon left, and so did i. another time we showed up at training at the same time he was getting out of his car and i was pulling into the parking lot, i remember looking at him and thinking "he looks like he wants to punch me" but i felt like running up and giving him a hug.. and the last time we ran into each other was april 21 me and my mom were at the mall shopping for birthdays, just having a girls day, we were in pac sun and i watched scott and some of his friends leave...it had been a long time since i had seen him, i froze, i got really hot and started sweating, my stomach turned into a pit, and i probably looked like a dear in head lights, my mom came over "HEY! wasn't that scotty?" uuuggghhh! i said "yeah lets go" as we left the store i burst into tears, i was just SO frustrated, we were BEST FRIENDS now we couldn't even be in the SAME BUILDING?! it broke my little heart even more. that night he finally texted me. "every time i see you my heart breaks a little more" and so we started talking. and things were going fine, surprisingly. we got back together...and things weren't the same the second time around, everything was questioned, there was not a whole lot of trust, jealousy...we loved hard but fought harder...we were both SO dang stubborn and had to have the last word. no matter what. we would stay up ALL night fighting over...nothing. nothing at all. and then came his mission...closer and closer and CLOSER. and the fighting got worse and worse and worse. in my eyes the fighting was satan, just satan doing what he does best to poor young men trying to do the right thing, and i saw this, so i would let scott take out his anger on me, but he would never admit to me that satan was influencing him, he would say "he has no control over me" but ... i had returned missionaries saying yeah thats satan working on him. so i just let scott be. ever since we were first together we talked about his mission, and i was planning to wait for him. until the last few months...i just couldn't handle it, it wasn't worth it to me anymore i just wanted to live my life not tied down. so we broke up...again. and even though we were broken up we fought with all we had till he left. the last time i saw him...he was threatening to be up a guy talking to me that i hardly even knew. then his farewell...my family goes to wyoming every summer (as past posts have explained) and we were going to be in wyoming the sunday of his farewell.. i had the choice to stay home and go, or go w/my family to wyoming. because we were fighting and i was so mad i decided to go to wyoming. i thought for sure when i got home he would wanna say something to me because he has to have the last word...but there was nothing. then he left july 27....and thats it...i haven't heard a peep. and its not too great of a feeling. because i love his family, and i want to be with them...having everything left so unsettled...is....heart breaking, still. he told me he would never write me. so...why write him? so there it is, in my eyes. but as hard as it can be at times i try to remember the good he brought about.

the good Scott Laxton brought about:

he pushed me towards greatness in EVERYTHING, failure was never an option.

he taught me how to love the scriptures and apply them to my life

selflessness

forgiveness

he took hard working to a whole new level

being healthy haha scott lived in the gym, working so hard eating right getting rest...most the time

he set a good example that i followed

it was not all bad. because things ended so bad...its REALLY hard for me to remember the good when the bad is so fresh in my mind, when his words still sting when i think of them, but we loved each other, and i still do love him...IN A WHOLE OTHER WAY, just...for the good he brought about. you know in the note book how noah and allie love each other so so much one second, then the next they are screaming at each other then they are making out? yup, that was us...once upon a time long long ago. so now he's gone...and that's that i suppose..

but here are a couple pictures that have some how survived. one time i got so mad at scott i burned...EVERYTHING between us. the pictures, clothing, movie tickets EVERYTHING and i kept...everything between us. so...i was PRETTY dang mad.