human

lately has been rough...and lately as in since friday. we all make mistakes right? we come down to earth to live and learn and part of living and learning is screwing up and making mistakes right? somebody please even if i dont know you correct me if im wrong. so i made a few mistakes and one big one and after that big one everything i do seems to be a mistake to some people. everything. trying to have fun...nope dont even think about it missy you had fun...nope, mistake. its like i cant get a break and maybe i set myself up for this, for the cold shoulders, criticism, harsh words, hatred, and misery. maybe its all my fault and i deserve it but if i knew this is what i was getting myself into i sure would have dont things differently. im human, sorry i forgot to send a request to keep me immortal while i live on earth my bad, i didn't get the memo in time and i cant change that now. but if being human isnt good enough im screwed. let me ask you this readers....say you made a big ole mistake that hurt a couple people you sure didn't mean to hurt ANYONE you thought you were honestly doing the right thing. really you were convinced you were so you made your decision and BAM it backfires and blows up in your face, the damage is done, there is no taking it back now so ASAP you start apologizing and doing all you can in that moment to try to start making it right, thats the right thing to do right? you should fix things as much as you can as soon as you can right? thats what im going here for but when the people you need to forgive you give you the cold shoulder, won't believe you, or your not allowed to talk to them HOW tell me HOW you are supposed to right any wrong you have done to them? if they won't give you the time of day or the benefit of the doubt what are you supposed to do? im feeling quite lost, and hopeless, and lonely! if nothing i can do is good enough, if nothing i do to try and prove i AM in fact a good person is going to help me out in some way...what am i doing here? i know im not fighting for nothing in this situation...but i sure wish what i was fighting for would say "thanks for your effort, i dont forgive you yet but im sure i will come around eventually" then hey thats all the motivation i need to keep going and to keep fighting. i just need SOME type of positive feedback....thats all...