its such a surreal feeling to sit next to your friends grave, but when that's the closest you'll ever get to them again...you take it.
driving here was...incredibly hard. my mind was flooded with emotions and memories. while driving i couldn't stop the reeling pain in my chest and the heavy sobs that followed, tears filled my eyes i could have mistaken the town for being underwater. and soon panic set in, an urgency overcame me to hurry to you. for your comfort and presence. for relief. all those feelings caused a rising hysteria, i became frantic and sped here. i needed not to search the graveyard for i know right where you lay and those yellow flowers are a dead giveaway i have spent many sunday afternoons here rain or shine.
the sobs have subsided and my tears are dry i crack a smile but there is still a hole inside. i feel the comfort i so desperately needed the comfort only you can bring to a soul as distraught as mine. as i sit here in the sunshine with the birds chirping and butterflies fluttering life and the world dont seem so bad, this temporary feelings im happy to share with you.
i cant find the right words to say allowed so i pray you can hear them from my heart. the silence we share is powerful, i know you understand.
the tears and sobs they're coming back now, they always do. like waves. i cant help but cry i miss you everyday.
i was never me till i met you. you brought out the side of me i am today. they say you discover yourself by growing up, but the six years i spent with you i never learned more about myself. you helped me make what i like to think is a great person. the greatest compliment i have ever received is that im a beautiful, spunky girl just like you. there is no one else i would rather be compared to. remember our softball coach thought we were twins!? i loved that.
the wind blows and the goosebumps rise, its time to leave again but i never consider them good-byes. your with me everyday.
i've loved you for a thousand years
i'll love you for a thousand more.
