I've been avoiding...everything lately. work. people. the universe. if im not working, or doing wedding stuff with zac i am SLEEPING. yup. every spare second i can get, i use it to sleep. and people keep asking me "aren't you SO busy with wedding planning?!" and i always answer "no, were just waiting for the big day now." except then it hit me. all the last minute details. like bridals, and tuxedos, and hair and make up, and catering set up, etc. its endless. and there is a lot to do! there is my bedrooms to be packed up. and moved. and unpacked. a place that i need to make into my new home. and what am i doing? sleeping. im freaking sleeping. i cant help it. 15 days until i marry this love of mine. and i cant wait. im not nervous or scared at all, i am anxious and excited and i want it to be here already! life was so slow just a few months ago. i wasn't really going...anywhere! and now the pace has surely picked up and i have had huge unexpected surprises! suddenly i cant catch up with all the plans i am making. but it's ok. because everything is going to work out. and i have got the most amazing man beside me. i just laugh and cry all at the same time when i think about when i first met zac, i hated him, i didnt know him but i hated him. and now, clearly i am beyond over that, but i love him, more than i have ever imagined i could love anyone! and if i didnt have him i would surely not be who i am. and i kinda like who i am! the best part of me is zac. and i mean that. it all sounds so cheesy but when you have found the person you are going to marry and grow old with the love you are able to feel is surprising. it overwhelms me, and sometimes i just cry to myself because i love zac and everything that he is and will be. he's my best friend, and i get to kiss him whenever i want. its the best thing in the whole world....
and now i need to stop avoiding the fact that i need to do my hair and make up and put actual clothes on and go to my second job. ugh. can i retire yet?
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