till we meet again

tonight was one of those rare nights where 

i closed instead of opened at the sweet tooth

its a saturday night so it was rather busy

work was fine

afterwards i was driving home

and i dont remember driving at all

honestly the next thing i know is i am

pulled over in front of some house

sobbing my eyes out

i was crying so hard i really thought

i might need to try to call 911 for help

cause i couldnt breath 

i couldnt see

i couldnt contain my emotions

i dont know how long i sat there in that state

but i finally calmed down

and was able to start thinking of

WHY i was crying like that 

i was crying for all of those poor

children in conneticut

i dont even want to go into detail 

about such a disturbing tragedy but i would like to 

think that my mom heart kicked in

and i started to think if those had been

MY BABIES

it sickens me!

then i also realized i was crying over bekki

i looked up to see myself parked right outside her house

which brought a new wave of sobbing

i know i wasnt the closest person to her

i havent known her since the day she was born

the past few years we havent been as close as we

were when we first met

but a best friend is always a best friend

someone who had an impact on your life

like bekki had on mine will ALWAYS be missed

and more so than ever all of those memories

seem like it was just yesterday

and then i start thinking that

you REALLY NEVER KNOW

when your life will end

or the life of a loved one

and that i really cant take a single day for granted 

even on the bad days something good came out of them

and that i need to show my love for my friends and family

as well as voice is more often

i want to scream it from the rooftops

i just dont want anyone in my life to not know how much i love them

and not just that but to be nice to strangers

because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

i want to spread the love far and wide

i want everyone in the whole wide world to feel loved

to know they are loved by their heavenly father

i wish people didnt hurt

didnt feel alone

and sad

and scared

and angry

and depressed

and sucidal

and forgotten

and so many more things!

i want to give everyone alive or dead

a great big hug and kiss on the cheek

i am so blessed

and now i am left

so speechless