scar

last week Rachel Haslam asked me to be her model for a scar photo shoot she was doing, i of course willingly and excitedly accepted, because...lets be real here what could i be better for?! here are some of the pictures she took, im obsessed! they look great and she is an excellent photographer and so fun to work with!

 

 

pretty cool eh?? the interesting thing to me about these pictures is i didnt realize thats how my scar looked...like ive never been able to see it from this angle! i still TO THIS DAY find more and more of my scar, and it always amazes me...and in just 7 days i will be getting another skin graft...more scar...yesterday when i was working at iggys one of my managers asked me about it and we were talking about for scars forever! but he asked me if it bugs me, if im self conscious about it...sometimes i am...sometimes i think its ugly and i hate it and i wish i had perfect skin like all the models you see on t.v and EVERYWHERE you go but i will NEVER look like that but most of the time i do like my scar and i dont know anything else...my shoulder has always looked this way basically so its a huge part of me...sometimes i forget i even have it and sometimes im super aware of it...like i am lately because it hurts so bad! as excited as i am for the pain to go away i am nervous for the healing process...and this is actually a very emotional thing for me...on so many different levels! my scar means a lot to me...and that may sound silly but its a HUGE reminder of so many things i have learned throughout my life, like learning to accept myself that i am beautiful in my own way, and it is a lesson learned of if you touch something hot your going to be burned...as in dealing with people if you mess with people, if you start trouble and drama your going to get burned, there is ALWAYS  a consequence and some people DONT understand that. and there is more but its christmas eve and there is plenty to do! just thought i would share this.